Recently I was filling out (another!) doctor form and the question of occupation again, as it always does, gave me a moment's pause. The tiny, one inch answer space mocks me, unblinking in it's glaring, vacant stare, from the page. How can I possibly adequately put into a word or words the occupation that is mine? Even if I wrote in supermicroletters, I could never fit in launderer, housekeeper, dishwasher, cook, courier, taxi driver, coach, receptionist, party planner, teacher, part time preacher (my kids are my lucky parishioners!), decorator, and more!! I know, I know, it's an old problem that has frustrated mothers for decades, no doubt! But to me, that line bears an answer all-revealing to whoever might check my chart. {Hmm, I wonder...why is that question so essential? Does my high or low position in the working class affect my treatment in this office or does it simply give the staff a way to relate, maybe open the visit with relevant conversation? Anyhoo, back to the thought at hand!} The old standby "homemaker" or "full time mom" just isn't enough for me anymore. The first sounds a little Betty Crocker to me and the latter could be said of all moms and the effort and devotion that any mom gives is so varied that such a title is certainly not enough for me.
As I thought about it, the term "familykeeper" immediately sprang to mind. Initially, I thought of a gatekeeper and the image of a person standing faithfully at his/her post with unwavering attention and intense perception immediately sprang to mind. So I researched it a little further...
In ancient times, the gates of a city were heavily fortified to withstand breaching by enemy forces. Although most commonly thought of as a single entrance, city gates often had multiple doors from which to deploy soldiers which would meet the invaders head on. In contrast, drawbridges were useful in facilitating the sending out of citizens of the city. And the person responsible for having the wisdom to know what was permissible to pass in and at what time it was completely safe to open the passageway into the world...the gatekeeper!
Even as I began to understand more fully the role of a gatekeeper, I was increasingly convinced this had so much in parallel to my own life, my own occupation, if you will. My children, my husband are the citizens within the walls of my 'city', my home. My role as a mother reflects that of the gatekeeper for my children. What influences, what role models, what information comes into my home is my prime concern. While they are still young and impressionable, I am the first point of defense for what life and society at large may throw at them. The treasure within my walls demands that my attention be focused, undistracted by the taunts of those who belittle my position and remain stoic amidst calls to leave my watch for a 'more fulfilling' position. I must be ever at my watch, perceiving between the good and evil that would approach my city's gates. I am their protector, I am their strong wall! And if need be, I'll open up one of my secret doors to deploy 'the papa' who could lay a much bigger whooping on menacing invaders! And when that sad day (for me!) comes when they are ready at last to leave the safety of my castle walls, they will be prepared. For their wisdom and their discernment will have grown as they walked frequently across the drawbridge day after day with mama's watchful eye upon them. Across the drawbridge into many rich and sometimes painful experiences and lessons of life. But always at night, they found refuge once again in that city where family is the foundation.
So for me, I have finally found my own response to that loaded question of occupation. I am a proud 'familykeeper'... and you just watch if that's not exactly what I put down the next time I have opportunity!
As for you? Well, you've just wasted precious minutes hoping that after all my rambling I'd have the decency to end with something profound. I'd say better luck next time but the truth is, if it's profound you're looking for, you're better off reading somebody else's blog!!
