Hers was a tortured soul. Trapped in the body of a 5 year old. Last night while playing with friends at the playground, Eliana kept running to me with an expression of sorrow and regret.
"What's wrong, baby?"
"I keep thinking bad words in my head."
"Oh, honey! Well, next time when the words come, you just start singing a song!"
Now the look was one of complete mortification! "Mom! (eyes rolling) I can't do that! I'd be too shy!"
"No, no. I mean in your head, sing a song in your head. Or hum it. Just to get your mind off the bad things."
This satisfied her momentarily. But it wasn't more than three minutes when she was back again.
"Mama, I'm still thinking them."
The depth of pain was apparent in her eyes. She was trying so hard to do good and found within herself a struggle she was not winning. I was starting to be concerned as well, wondering what naughties were running rampant in her innocent mind. "What kind of words, baby?"
Softly and with much discretion she leaned in for an intimate secret..."Shut-up and stupid,...and other bad things."
I exhaled quietly, relieved at her 'terrible' disclosure. Yes, hers is a tortured soul but oh, how precious in it's innocence and purity! How I wish that those 'bad words' were as bad as it would ever get for her. But I know that in a culture and society fixated on improprieties and vulgarities as standard entertainment she will yet be bombarded with much worse. But today she stands untouched by them and her gentle conscience mercifully pricks and prods her to do the right thing. Not the tolerable thing, not the accepted thing, but the right thing.
Philippians 4:8 Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. 9 Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.
This then was the point of reference for my talk with Eliana. For this promises her something that I never could...peace. And the God of peace will be with you.