I have one special request. Just one. Please, honey, could you please try to take some pictures of me on our campout? You know something that would prove that I was indeed present on the trip? Some tangible evidence that you did not take the kids by yourself to every fun thing we ever did as a family? Yes, I know the only photos in the house show you alone with the kids, leading every visitor to our home to assume that this is a beautifully decorated and meticulously kept home of a single dad and his four adorable orphans. But don't you think it's time to put that rumor to rest once and for all? Fine, if you want to stick to that story at least allow me to be the kind, charming, and witty aunt who visits occassionally. Just please, oh please, may I have just one photo of me with my kids?
His response:
Look, what a precious moment of pure joy for mama and Manu! But the photographer seems only to have eyes trained for focus on the man bathing himself in the background.
A gymnastical feat worth a standing ovation! Um, seems the photog saves his applause only for those dazzling trees in the far, far distance.
A moment of pure gold if captured on film: the rambunctious adolescent ready to smack mama's behind for attempting to hide that amazing wannabe surfer in the photog's scope. No, not even a solemn moment of comfort between mama and Manu can catch this photographer's eye.
Surely, surely Bo Derek Jr. is worth a perfectly focused snapshot! Who knows, that could have been blown up to poster size and sold by the millions and paid for her university education had our photographer not been so engrossed by the bellied man's super soaker.
A photo finish if I ever saw one! Too bad the subjects are so out of focus we had a hard time determining if we even knew the person who had won!
For future vacations/trips/campouts/family portraits/candid moments in which I desire to have some presence in the photos, please remind me to hire my own paparazzi instead of their papa. Or bring my own tripod instead of relying on the man with only two legs upon which to stablize himself. Or, at the very least, clear all special camera settings and lock all modes into Auto, Auto Focus being the most important.
