We skipped along the icy sidewalks hand in hand. Well, mostly I did. He walked with his usual long and fast gait while I clung to his hand with my feet occasionally touching ground. It was date day which had followed date night, a precious and rare opportunity that comes once in a blue moon. The night had been filled with thai food and hours of conversation followed by a bleary 'good morning' and errands to run.
Returns, gift shopping, and, my favorite, window fantasizing filled our morning. We popped into North Face to check on a coat and that's when the fun started...
1° North Face had some rad coats but way cooler sleeping bags. No, wait, way warmer sleeper bags. The kind I could right now sleep outside in, maybe even inside out. Only the price tag said $699. I'll sleep inside, thanks!
2° Being in North Face reminded me that I had just read about South Butt, a company based in St. Louis, MO that creates clothes for the rest of us, those not prepping for a trek up a mountain or a kayak ride down a waterfall. They're being sued by North Face, which I found funny and so of course had to share with my hubs.
3° We laughed some more when we envisioned news headlines about the trial. The Case of Face vs. Butt. North vs. South, my the mayhem that might ensue if people thought our country was at war again! (Wait...) My personal favorite, The Butt/Face Case.
4° Later on in the day, my husband hiked up his pants for what must have been the 100th time that day. His obvious frustration was soon to be channeled into a brilliant entrepreneurial enterprise. Sensing he was not alone in his misery, he made plans to launch Jeans for People with No Butts. Presuming I was laughing with him and not at him (I wasn't. I was.), he offered up another, Buttless. Admitting my own deficiencies in this arena, I suggested this, Butts Gone South.
5° That really got me thinking. I'd heard about cosmetic surgery that could implant more mass in the behinds of those less than bootylicious. Maybe, just maybe, I could get a butt lift. Which, for all intents and purposes, was really like taking your butt north.
6° In a matter of minutes, I pictured myself unrecognizable. Because anybody with any sense could tell you that a improved butt only looks good if accompanied by a liposuctioned waist (or, is it waste?), a nose job, and an "elevated" chest. Oh, and who could forget the face lift?! Or, for all intents and purposes is just like taking your face north. Yes, I'd could definitely use me some North Face.
Suddenly that $699 pricetag is looking like a real steal...;)
