The pain comes roaring in without warning, my body and emotions are swept up in it's powerful blast. The exhaustion, it comes too, a deep growling as if the beast of affliction were not yet content.
It comes frequent enough, sometimes in spurts, sometimes it lingers as if hopeful to make more than an acquaintance.
It is still my enemy.
Unwilling to fully succumb to what is my cup to bear, I drink bitterly of what I must, eager so soon to indulge in a diet of my own choosing.
I sometimes wonder, why me, for what greater purpose, where is my help coming from?
Until yesterday when I wondered aloud, "Perhaps it's because He loves me THIS much."
Perhaps the giant roar of interruption to my best laid plans, my pursuits for here and now and then and there someday eternally, is a gift. A gift of slower days, less energy to do so that I can be still and know.
What if, for little ol' me, He intervenes to draw me nearer? What if these days of tasks undone and friends unmet and services unrendered are for me?
What if the lion's beastly roar is for me, to allow me to lie down and draw soul comfort from the Lamb?
What if He loves me that much? Enough to pull me from a Martha's fury of activity to evoke a Mary's heart of seeking at the feet of the Savior.
What once to me was a dreaded foe is now an unlikely ally, working in me something deeper and purer and heaven sent than all my grandest desires and noblest pursuits could ever accomplish here on this terrestrial ball.
Because He loves me so...
It's Five Minute Fridays, a welcome break from vacation mode for me to write.
