It was a rocky journey from six weeks on. Excessive bleeding promised early termination but each ultrasound showed a strong heartbeat, a strong will to live. With each week, the odds decreased though the time in womb increased. Loss of blood and lack of sustenance threatened baby's life and my health. We should abort and spare ourselves the future challenge, save our other children the inconvenience of a life not perfect was the counsel given.
Almost eight years ago we spared a life and God saved our family from the challenges predicted. Other challenges soon filled their void through the years but God has proven Himself merciful and gracious.
Years later another baby began to grow in the cocoon designed by the maestro of creation. With it sprouted old fears and new worries about my ability to carry to term and my desire to begin at the start of motherhood all over again.
Again there were issues from the beginning. A deja vu and no hallelu. Ultrasounds showed clots - a few and then one. And then on Monday, wondrously, none.
Today I raise my broken hallelujah.
A hallelujah born of great petition before the One who holds life and death in His hands. A song of praise laced with a melody of tears born from a cocoon of hope. Through these past few months, I have learned to remain ensconced in the shelter of God's providence, settled securely in the waiting room of eternity where all the beauty gained through the trials of this life will one day forever be revealed. Only God knows what awaits us still as we wait for glory but my will to live for Him grows through each mercy revealed. My heart beats strong to tell of His goodness and testify to the joys of living.
April's showers will blossom soon enough into May's flowers and the delivery of what was nine months previous set in motion. When we behold our son for the first time, I'm sure there will be tears - there are always tears of joy. But just to be sure, I've practiced spilling loads today as we celebrate this Ebenezer and rejoice in our source of help and hope.
Hallelujah, what a Saviour...
//warning: this belly will be the most photographed in the history of all my bellies. I never believed a life would grow again inside me and, if I have any say in the matter, there never will after this one. :) enjoying the beauty of this miracle while it is here...please bear with my obsession?