A Worthy Life

safe in his arms

He's been on the road more than usual. Our time together has been shorter but oh, how much sweeter! As soon as I hear his car pull up in the driveway, I rush towards his embrace. How precious the envelopment of one who knows you more than perhaps you know yourself and keeps on loving you despite that knowledge.

Each day that I awake I smile, knowing that he woke up to me, like this, and yet loves me still. How he could love me, who can fathom! One moment, one day at a time, he does.

Selflessly and selfishly.

I am my beloved's and my beloved is mine.

Unconditional love = safety, security, sacred.

campout 2009

Returned yesterday from our annual long weekend campout. Had a blast with old friends and new, on the sunny days and the rainy ones, through the nights of shivering and snuggles, and learned more than a few lessons about life, family, and relationships. A few good friends stopped over last night after arriving home. Good chats and good news. Today it's laundry and housecleaning with a few breaks in between. Thank goodness for naptime!

common occasions of my day

"To live content with small means; to seek elegance rather than luxury, and refinement rather than fashion; to be worthy, not respectable, and wealthy, not, rich; to listen to stars and birds, babes and sages, with open heart; to study hard; to think quietly, act frankly, talk gently, await occasions, hurry never; in a word, to let the spiritual, unbidden and unconscious, grow up through the common--this is my symphony." ~William Henry Channing

I have become lately an observer of the small moments, the quiet moments, the moments in between the scurry and flurry of devotions, play, housework, and meal prep. Yesterday a few such moments stood out to me...

While gently rinsing bella mushrooms for dinner, I noticed in the sink's reflection the Cross. Jesus' words echoed in the quiet of my heart, "Take up thy Cross daily and follow me." Here I was, at the threshold of mundane activity and yet in a second it became an altar of spiritual sacrifice. This, among all the others, is part of my daily cross, chosen for me. And in it's simplicity I was doing the most otherworldly task that I could do. "The wise woman prepares food for her household."

In preparation for our long weekend camping trip, I braided my daughter's hair into a bajillion braids. It serves as my promise to her that all weekend long I would not try to brush or fix her hair, the point of her day that she loathes the deepest. Before dinner, I caught her in the backyard, letting the cool night breeze through her new 'do.

4:2 The visual proof that when it comes to resisiting the d.evil's i.nsidiously e.vil t.oxin of coca-cola my spirit is willing but my flesh is very, very weak. I have tried so hard to purge myself of it's poisonious allure. To no avail. After this weekend, I'm off it for good. Well, that or 30 days, whichever comes first. You, you, and you are officially recruited to keep me accountable. The rest of you, should you see me sipping my black potion in the dark corners, have pity and turn a blind eye, would you?

My morning routine is simple. Wash, brush, apply a little concealer, and underarm smell neutralizer. As you can see, no Teen Spirit for me. Nope, for me it's the Holy Spirit all the way. (Also known to the rest of the world as The Dove Who Descended, or Dove, or...whatever! I'm looking for the holy in the very ordinary, remember?!)

in with the old to bring in the new

I'll be honest. The last time we saw each other, we were both a bit on the naughty side. After a year of playing it safe my first year back to this private school, I was ready to shed my goody-two-shoes image for something a little more fun. I was hardly bucking the norm, I think our entire class, save for two angelic students, were terrors that year. We were top of the school, ruling as the upperclassmen in sixth grade, and you would know where to find us by following our teacher's sobs and tears just outside our classroom door.

Our crimes were the usual adolescent cruelties: gossiping, forming cliques, making up Wanted posters for people we were feuding with, and doing anything within our power to get our competition flat on their bums. For the record, I was participant in some and had others done to me so in the grand scheme of things, I'd say we were all equal opportunity haters.

Well, it has been a long, long time since then and though I'd heard bits and pieces from her life through the years, we only recently reconnected via facebook. From her pictures, I knew she had blossomed into a gorgeous woman on the outside and saw that she was making quite a name for herself in her work as a hairstylist. Judging from her client photos and own hairstyle, I just knew she'd be the right person to help me finally shed years of emotional attachment to my long hair.

While in St. Louis visiting family, I met Donna at Metro Salon and Spa in Old Town St. Charles. In a moment I knew that the beauty that radiated in her pictures online was but a reflection of her beauty within. She greeted me with a hug and I was immediately impressed with her professionalism and knowledge. I had warned her that I was a more than a little nervous and very particular about the vision I had for my new 'do. Even when I experienced a momentary panic, she calmly and patiently guided me through to a brilliant result.

For two hours we got to catch up on life and talk about our shared passion of photography. Though hair and photos may be what she does, she approaches both with a sincere care for her clients and looks for opportunities to share more than her skills. She approaches every relationship with a desire to share the joy and hope found in her God. We may have been naughty a few decades ago but even then seeds were being planted in our hearts about a Jesus who wanted a relationship with us. Those seeds have now burst forth in her life and the fruit of her relationship with Him is evident in her marriage, her mothering, and her missionary's heart.

Thank you so much Donna for delivering so perfectly on the vision I had for my hair! It took me a few days to get used to it but by Sunday I was flipping it with sass and attitude! I will be sending my mother and sister in soon and I know that they will feel just as at ease as I under your scissor wielding magic. Is it too early to schedule an appointment while I'm in town next year on vacation?!

Before:

After (I know, I know...I look a bit like Gwyneth Paltrow here ;o):

After (with Donna):

summer picnic

Finally, a break in the weather. Beautiful blue skies, a new swing installed by the mama, a brilliant sun to kiss a soft tan onto our skin, and water to cool us off: a perfect setting for an outdoor lunch.

Being outside, watching my kiddos, reading my bible, papa working nearby in his home office...life is good. Really, really good.

Thank you, Jesus.

noe shews

At the end of our annual trip back home to St. Louis, I get to attend the wedding of a dear girl and her husband to be. It's sure to be gorgeous! Set in a magnificent garden with an historic mansion on the premises, it'll be a night of pure magic and beauty. And I get to go sans kids, with handsome hubsters on my arm. Plus, I finally get to wear the new silk dress I scored at Banana Republic back on Valentine's. I just knew that one day I'd have reason to wear it! ;o)

Which leads me to today's dilemna: finding shoes to match. Well, more accurately, finding shoes that match within my budget. Yeah. Seeking out gorgeous shoes is sort of my forte. Finding ones of high quality and brilliant design that get along with my bank account, not so much.

So here's the shoes I've found:

See?! Finding shoes to match is a no brainer. Finding shoes to match at a fraction of these prices, that's called dreaming.

Oh, well. It doesn't cost to dream now, does it?!

ps. Should any of you in internet land have extra cash set aside for humanitarian purposes or charitable giving, I should think I and this qualify, no?! You can shop these at www.louboutinsale.com or www.jcrew.com. I picked ones on sale so I'm doing you a very humane favor by saving you tons in advance, right?? Just in case, I wear a size 7.5.

dear diary,

It has been 5 days since my last vacation. And yet, I must confess to having already taken another.

My husband, bless his soul, is away on business and while I love him fiercely, today I booked a vacation for one.

It started with a lunch date with a friend. I had only intended on being gone for an hour, two at most. But Ammachi preferred having the kids at her house and to justify the long trips back and forth I asked if she could keep them for a few more. Driving that distance in too short of a time span is bad for the environment. Truly, the environment that I inhabit is not a pleasant one when I have sat too long in the driver's seat (just ask my kids).

I came home to do some laundry and then jumped back on the road to do some errands. ALL BY MYSELF. Because I was in the vicinity of Booster Juice, necessity demanded that I fulfill my craving. I admit, I am not sorry I did.

On the way, no need to make the trip another day when the gas pollution could not excuse this stop alone, I needed to stop at my favorite place for home project inspiration. Sadly, I spent no money there today.

I dutifully made dinner for the kids. I wanted to make grilled veggie paninis with fresh provolone over the barbie but the kids insisted I take it easy and make their favorite, grilled cheddar. I threw in Sun Chips to complete the gourmet effect.

All the kids were bathed, brushed, and dressed with outfits set out for tomorrow. The house was vacuumed and laundry all but done. So I had nothing left to do but kiss their sweet heads goodnight; earlier than usual, they cried and clamoured for bed.

I ate the grilled veggie panini wrapped around glorious provolone and chipolte mayo. It was a sacrifice almost too much to bear. When I finished, I couldn't tell if my tears were from the intense pleasure of palateable sensory or because I did what I had to do for the sake of my dear babes.

I showered in silence and darkness, an odd pleasure my husband finds perplexing, and had no one to answer to for it. I cuddled in beneath my fuzzy sheets and smiled with ree-dumb-diculous delectation as I watched the opening scenes from a chick flick long denied.

I fell asleep, earlier than my usual bedtime. I woke refreshed and ready for another day.

Oh, I feel as though I have broken some unspoken covenant with the universe: When thou shalt be blessed with the benevolence of a week's vacation, thou must refrain thyself from indulging within the time span of at least 2 weeks before engorging thyself with the ree-dumb-diculous pleasures of alone time satiated with pleasureable foods, girl talk, and a dessert of a great chick flick.

I confess, it has only been 5 days since my last vacation. I will resort with all the power in my being, and with any continued good graces from my Father above, to continue carving out these times of refreshing any chance I get.

And for that, I am sorry not one bit.

wild thang, y'all make my heart sing!

Where the wild things grow, the wild ones will grow wild-er!

Girls will be girls, picking flowers to form a glorious bouquet.
Boys will be boys, fashioning a bow and arrow from aptly shaped twigs.
Tots will be tots, constantly reminding us that our walk is delaying her naptime.

The true nature and imagination of children will blossom and flourish with frequent walks on the wild side. The wild offers them wide open vistas and paths unmarked to follow to their heart's content. Fallen trees become tightropes stretched between billowing clouds. Every rustle in the leaves hints at wildlife thriving beneath our tred.

After just coming from a trip to Costco where we bought hanging baskets of the season's most brilliant flowers, Eliana remarked, "I wish I hadn't wasted money on flowers when I can have all these for free!" Eden searched the ground for flora and fauna, wanting ample subjects to "hook up on the internet". Look up, dear, we look them up! I think the more natural way of the wild generally involves hookups without the internet, for spousal searches or communication of any variety! Jacob was afraid of snakes but would get in touch with his inner Tarzan following the example of his tree hugging sisters. Emmanuelle, true to her inner nature, looked ready to join the geese in a swim through the marsh and practiced her yelps and hollers, rivaling the noises of her animal friends.

With acorns and bark and branches stuffed within our pockets and fists, we go now to explore the vast spaces of the internet, hoping he/she can hook us up with the answers to the many questions nature has awakened within us!

edited to add: for all those concerned about us walking on the wrong side of law in regards to trillium picking, it is not illegal. bad for the trillium, yes. which is why we will abstain in the future from destroying the fragile beauties so others may happen upon them one fine day. :o)

back at it

Well, we're back from our whirlwind vacation and depending on how you look at things, we took a speedy shuttle back to the realities of parenthood or had a slow reintroduction to the normalities of life. Speedy because we came back to sick kids and mama soon caught whatever it was that there were breathing into my nostrils during our midnight rendezvous in their beds or slow because when a good portion of the family is down for the count it's hard to resume a normal schedule. Either way we are thrilled to be home again! I still have a final letter to my kiddos to post with pictures from our California portion of the trip and some thoughts that's been perculating round and round my boggled brain. Today though I'd thought I'd ease back into the blogosphere with a simple post...

 
A few weeks back Emmanuelle received a birthday gift in the mail, with love from her cousins Anna Grace, Cate, and Noah (although Aunt Daniele might have been the one to actually slip it in the mail! ;o). A Lollitop: the hat that turns into a purse. A family friend began this entrepreneur venture only a few years ago and now has a thriving business on her hands. She graciously donated some of her unique creations to a raffle that would help raise funds for my younger sister, Deborah's, mission trip to Europe this summer. Check out her website for great gift ideas for the mini fashionistas in your family!

girls just wanna have fun

My little sister is a published author. Like, real name on a real byline beneath a glorious headline in a popular newspaper. Following in the footsteps of her two older sisters, she works at her highschool's newspaper and does a fab job reporting on the news, social and political, for her thousands of readers. She recently wrote a review of a bestseller. We went this week to watch the movie and I'll give the ol' college try to writing a review of the movie to see if I can at least match my little sister's creative writing chops. For now, here's the review of the book:

by Debba Liz

    In Confessions of a Shopaholic, we are introduced to Becky Bloomwood, a fantastic shopper and avid money spender. Whether she is buying a pair of shoes or a dress, a $4 cup of coffee or a rug that she simply does not need, Becky loves to shop.
    There is simply one problem with Becky spending all this money: she does not have it. She works as a journalist for a financial magazine in London, England where she makes just enough to live. But for Becky, that is not good enough. The life of glitz and glamour is far too tempting for her to ignore. Becky lives far above her means, putting everything on credit and possessing all she wants with the simple swipe of her VISA. In this hilarious story, you will follow Becky as she goes from trying to cut back to trying to make more money.
    She will come to realize what life is truly about, the meaning of friendships and that sometimes new shoes don't completely satisfy. Sweet at moments, corny on occasion and hysterical always, you will love this comical novel. The pages cannot turn fast enough in Confessions of a Shopaholic while anticipating what hilarious event will occur next in the life of this quirky, fun loving gal. The book was written by Sophie Kinsella came out in 2001 and was made into a movie this year. The film opens everywhere on February 13.